Yankovic!

Yankovic! : Published Lyrics : Off The Deep End



Smells Like Nirvana "Weird Al" Yankovic Off the Deep End 1992 parody of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana (Kurt Cobain/Nirvana/Al Yankovic) What is this song all about? Can't figure any lyrics out How do the words to it go? I wish you'd tell me, I don't know Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no Don't know, don't know, don't know Now I'm mumblin' and I'm screamin' And I don't know what I'm singin' Crank the volume, ears are bleedin' I still don't know what I'm singin' We're so loud and incoherent Boy this oughtta bug your parents Yeah It's unintelligible I just can't get it through my skull It's hard to bargle nawdle zouss With all these marbles in my mouth Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no Don't know, don't know, don't know... Well we don't sound like Madonna Here we are now, we're Nirvana Sing distinctly? We don't wanna Buy our album, we're Nirvana A garage band from Seattle Well, it sure beats raising cattle Yeah! And I forgot the next verse Oh well, I guess it pays to rehearse The lyric sheet's so hard to find What are the words? Oh, nevermind Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no Don't know, don't know don't know... Well, I'm yellin' and we're playin' But I don't know what I'm sayin' What's the message I'm conveyin'? Can you tell me what I'm sayin'? So have you got some idea? Didn't think so-Well, I'll see ya Sayonara, sayonara Ayonawa, adinawa Odinaya, yodinaya Yaddayadda, yaaahyaaah Ayaaaaah!
"Trigger Happy" --------------- by "Weird Al" Yankovic Got an AK-47, well you know it makes me feel all right. Gat an Uzi by my pillow, helps me sleep a little better at night. There's no feeling any greater Than to shoot first and ask questions later. Now I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day. Well, you can't take my guns away, I got a constitutional right. Yeah, I gotta be ready if the Commies attack us tonight. I'll blow their brains out with my Smith and Wesson, That oughta teach 'em all a darn good lesson. Now I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day. (Oh yeah, I'm) trigger, trigger happy. Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy. (Oh, baby I'm) trigger, trigger happy. Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy. (Oh, I'm so) trigger, trigger happy. Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy. Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away. Oh, I accidentally shot Daddy last night in the den. I mistook him in the dark for a drug-crazed Nazi again. Now why'd you have to get so mad? It was just a lousy flesh wound, Dad. You know, I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day. Oh, I still haven't figured out the safety on my rifle yet. Little Fluffy took a round, better take him to the vet. I filled that kitty cat so full of lead, We'll have to use him for a pencil instead. Well, I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day. (Oh yeah, I'm) trigger, trigger happy. Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy. (Oh baby, I'm) trigger, trigger happy. Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy. (Oh, I'm so) trigger, trigger happy. Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy. Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away. Come on and grab your ammo. What have you got to lose? We'll get all liquored up And shoot at anything that moves. Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I'm prayin' somebody tries to break in here tonight. I always keep a Magnum in my trunk. You better ask yourself, do you feel lucky, punk? Because I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day. (Oh yeah, I'm) trigger, trigger happy. Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy. (Oh baby, I'm) trigger, trigger happy. Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy. (Oh, I'm so) trigger, trigger happy. Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy. Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away.
"I Can't Watch This" "Weird Al" Yankovic Off the Deep End 1992 parody of "U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer (James/Miller/Hammer/Al Yankovic) I can't watch this. I can't watch this. I can't watch this. I can't watch this. My my my my TV makes me so bored, Makes me say, oh my lord. What is this garbage here? Wanna cover my eyes and plug my ears. It sucks, and that's no lie. It's about as much fun as watching paint dry. Lowers my IQ one notch, And that's the reason why, uh, I can't watch. I told you homeboy... I can't watch this. Yeah, nothin' but trash and you know... I can't watch this. Poke out my eyes, man... I can't watch this. Yo, gimme that remote control... I can't watch this. Talkin' 'bout sick shows, There's America's Funniest Home Videos. I can't believe my eyes When I see the kind of stuff that wins first prize. Somebody's poor old mom Falls down off the roof, lands right on the lawn Face first on a rake. I hear they got it on the seventeenth take. That's funny as a kick in the crotch. And that kinda show, uh, I can't watch. Yo, I told you... I can't watch this. Change the channel now, man... I can't watch this. Yo, pass the TV Guide here, sucker... I can't watch this. Cosby Show and Roseanne, Think I've taken 'bout as much as I can. Judge Wopner, oh my, You gotta be Rainman to like this guy. Thirtysomething is all right, If you like hearing yuppies whining all night. Can't stand Twin Peaks. Wish they'd lynch those donut-eatin' freaks. Those Siskel & Ebert bums Oughta go home and just sit on their thumbs. That's word because you know... I can't watch this. I can't watch this. Break it down! Here's-how-to-order-money-back-guarantee- removes-tough-stains-fast- it-tastes-more-like-fresh-peanuts- they-keep-going-and-going- don't-hate-me-because-I'm-beautiful- could-be-dandruff- our-prices-are-insaaaane!!! Stop! Prime time! I'm pretty sure I'll be sick If I have to watch another stupid pet trick. Or that guy with the real flat hair That goes "woof woof woof" and waves his fist in the air. Or those weird talk shows About transsexual Nazi Eskimos. They're rude, crude, and vile. Just for a minute let's flip down the dial. Flip, flip, flip... yeccch, I can't watch this. Look, man... I can't watch this. I can't take this torture no more, I can't... I can't watch this. Pay the bills, station break. Break it down! Operators-are-standing-by- cubic-zirconium-necklace- you're-soaking-in-it- and-our-fabulous-swimsuit-issue- when-you've-got-a-headache-this-big- read-the-book- this-is-your-brain-on-drugs- I've-fallen-and-I-can't-get-up!!! Stop! Cable time! HBO and Playboy, Showtime and MTV, I might like 'em more after my lobotomy. Now why did I ever pay for this junk? I hooked up eighty channels, and each one stunk. Just brainless blood and guts, and mindless T & A. It's awful, it's putrid, it's crummy, it's stupid, gonna throw my set away. I can't watch this. I can't watch this. I can't watch this. Yeah... I can't watch this. I told you... can't watch this. Too hip, can't watch this. Get me outta here... can't watch this.
Polka Your Eyes Out [Cradle of Love/Billy Idol] Rock the cradle of love Rock the cradle of love Yes, the cradle of love Don't rock easy, it's true Rock the cradle of love I rocked the cradle of love Yes, the cradle of love Don't rock easy, it's true [Tom's Diner/Susan Vega] Doo doo doo doo doo doodooo doo doo doo doo doo Doo doodoo doo (doo doo doo doo doo doodooo doo doo doo doo doo Doo doodoo doo) [Love Shack/B-52s] The Love Shack is a little old place where We can get together Love Shack, baby (Love Shack, baby, Love Shack) Hey! [Pump Up The Jam/Technotronic] Pump up the jam (hey!) Pump up the jam (hey!) Pump up the jam, pump it up! [Losing My Religion/R.E.M.] That's me in the corner That's me in the spotlight Losing my religions Trying to keep a view And I don't know if I can do it Oh no, I've said too much I haven't said enough [Unbelievable/EMF] The things you say Your purple prose just gives you away The things you say You're unbelievable (Oh!) [Do Me!/Bel Biv Devoe] Do me, baby, do me, baby You can do me in the morning, you can Do me in the night You can do me when you wanna do me Yodalodaladyhoo! [Enter Sandman/Metallica] Exit light Enter night Take my hand Off to never never land [The Humpty Dance/Digital Underground] The Humpty Dance your chance to do the Hump Do me, baby Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump Do me, baby Do the Humpty, Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump [Cherry Pie/Warrant] She's my cherry pie Put a smile on your face ten miles wide Look so good, make a grown man cry Sweet cherry pie-yi-yi Woo! Drum solo! [Miss You Much/Janet Jackson] I miss you much (M-O-I miss you much) I really miss you much (M-I-S-S you much) I miss you much (M-O-I miss you much) I really miss you much [I Touch Myself/DiVinyls] Hey, I don't want anybody else When I think about you I touch myself Oh, I don't want anybody else Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no [Dr. Feelgood/Motley Crue] He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood He's the one that makes you feel all right He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood He's gonna be your Frankenstein [Ice Ice Baby/Vanilla Ice] Let's kick it! If you gotta problem, (yo!) I'll solve it Check out the beat while the DJ revolves it Ice ice baby Ice ice baby...Word to your mother! Ice ice baby Ice ice baby, forever I'll be your ice...ice...baby! Hey!
I Was Only Kidding ------------------ by "Weird Al" Yankovic When I said I'd be faithful When I promised I'd be true When I swore that I could never Be with anyone but you When I told you that I loved you With those tender words I spoke I was only kidding Now, can't you take a joke? When I said that I need you, baby When I told you I really care When I said that I can't live without you When I said I'd follow you anywhere When I said you could always trust me When I said I'd never leave you flat Well, guess what? I was only kidding, baby I can't believe you fell for that! You're so gullible... CHORUS (I was only kidding) I was only kidding (I was only kidding) I was only kidding I was only kidding Now I'm sorry if you misunderstood, but the fact remains (I was only kidding) I was only kidding (I was only kidding) I was only kidding Well I guess I got you pretty good, now listen When I said that I love you baby From the very bottom of my heart When I said that I miss you so badly Every second that we're apart When I said that you're just getting more and more Beautiful every day Well, I was only kidding, honey What's that matter with you anyway? Let me tell you something (CHORUS) Well I guess it probably hurts you a lot, But you gotta know I really love you...NOT! When I said you oughtta marry me When I said that we should settle down Well, I was pullin' your leg there, honey I was just foolin' around You see, I-I never meant to upset you, darlin' I never meant to hurt anyone I was only kidding, baby Why don't you just put down that gun? Let's talk this over (CHORUS) Watch where you're pointing that thing! Hey, I'm sorry if your heart is broke You gotta realize (CHORUS)
"The White Stuff" "Weird Al" Yankovic Off the Deep End 1992 parody of "You Got It (The Right Stuff)" by New Kids on the Block (M. Starr/Al Yankovic) The White Stuff. The white stuff. The first one was a sweet one. Second one was a blast. Soon I finished off the bag, ate 'em up real fast. You can see 'em in my teeth, Tell it when I talk, Had so many my pancreas just went into shock. I love the white stuff, baby, In the middle of an Oreo. I love the white stuff, baby. It's the most delicious thing I know. I've had a zillion or two, In my life, they're so right. My teeth are all rotted clear through. But who cares? What else am I supposed to do? Oh oh oh-oh-oh, oh Oreo. Oh oh oh-oh-oh, the white stuff. Oh oh oh-oh-oh, oh Oreo. What's in the middle? The white stuff. The first time that I tried it Got a big sugar buzz. Nothing gets me high as that sandwich cookie does. But I love the filling most, I rub it on my roast, Mix it in with my coffee and spread it on my toast. I love the white stuff, baby, In the middle of an Oreo. I love the white stuff, baby. Take some with me everywhere I go. Might get a pimple or two. Well, so what? It's all right. Now, Twinkies and Ding Dongs won't do. All I need... You know what it is. Oh oh oh-oh-oh, oh Oreo. Oh oh oh-oh-oh, the white stuff. Oh oh oh-oh-oh, oh Oreo. Oh oh oh-oh-oh, the white stuff. Oh oh oh-oh-oh, oh Oreo. What's in the middle? The white stuff.
When I Was Your Age ------------------- (by "Weird Al" Yankovic) Let me tell you, sonny...let me set you straight You kids today ain't never had it rough Always had everything handed to you on a silver plate You lazy brats think nothing's good enough Well, nobody ever drove me to school when it was 90 degrees below We had to walk butt naked through 40 miles of snow Worked in the coal mine 22 hours a day for just half a cent Had to sell my internal organs just to pay the rent When I was your age. When I was your age When I was your age. When I was your age Let me tell you something, you whiny little snot There's something wrong with all you kids today You just don't appreciate all the things you've got We were hungry, broke and miserable and we liked it Fine that way There were seventy three of us living in a cardboard box All I got for Christmas was a lousy bag of rocks Every night for dinner we had a big chunk of dirt If we were really good we didn't get dessert When I was your age. When I was your age When I was your age. When I was your age Didn't have no telephone didn't have no FAX machine All we had was a couple of cans and a crummy piece of string Didn't have no swimming pool when I was just a lad Our neighbor's septic tank was the closest thing we had Didn't have no dental floss had to use old rusty nails Didn't have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails Didn't have no water bed, had to sleep on broken glass Didn't have no lawn mower, we used our teeth to cut the grass What's the matter now, sonny, you say you don't Believe this junk? You think my story's wearin' kinda thin? I tell you one thing, I never was such a disrespectful punk Back in my time, we had a thing called discipline Dad would whoop us every night till a quarter after twelve Then he'd get too tired and he'd make us whoop ourselves Then he'd chop me into pieces and play Frisbee with my brain And let me tell ya, Junior, you never heard me complain When I was your age. When I was your age When I was your age. When I was your age
Taco Grande (G. Mejia/C. C. Warren/Al Yankovic) Taco...grande Taco...grande Yo quero chimichangas y chile colorado Yo tengo el dinero para un steak picado Las flautas y tamale, siempre muy bueno Y el chile relleno You see, I just gotta have a tostada, carne asada That's right, I want the whole enchilada My only addiction has to do with flour tortilla I need a quesadilla I love to stuff my face with tacos al carbon With my friends or when I'm all alone Yo tengo mucho hambre y ahora lo quiero Un burrito ranchero So give me something spicy and hot now Break out the menu, what you go, now? Oh, would you tell the waiter I'd like to have Sour cream on the side You better make sure the beans are refried Taco...grande Taco...grande Well there's not a taco big enough for a man like me That's why I order two or three Let me give you a tip, just try a nacho chip It's really good with bean dip I eat uno, dos, tres, quatro burritos Pretty soon I can't fit in my Speedos Well, I hope they feed us lots of chicken fajitas And a pitcher of margaritas Well the combination plates al come with beans and rice The taquitos here are very nice Now I'm down on my knees, we need some extra Tomatoes and cheese And could you make that separate checks, please? Taco...grande Taco...grande Well the food is coming I can hardly wait Now watch your fingers, careful hot plate! What you think you're doing with my chili con queso? Well, if you want some, just say so Oh boy, pico de gallo They sure don't make it like this in Ohio No gracias, yo quiero jalapenos, nada mas You can toss away the hot sauce Donde estan los nachos? Holy frijole! You better get me a bowl of guacamole Y usted, Eugene? Wh's your face turning green? Don't you like pinto beans? You want some more cinnamon crispas? If you don't, hasta la vista Just take the rest home in a doggie bag if you wanna You can finish it manana Well, it's been a pleasure, I can't eat no more Senor, la cuenta, por favor If you ain't ever tried real Mexican cooking, well, you Oughtta Just don't drink the water Taco...grande Taco...grande Taco...grande Taco...grande
Airline Amy (Al Yankovic) Met this pretty young stewardess on a non-stop flight She showed me to my seat and it was love at first sight Now lately I've been flying to all kinds of places That I never really wanted to go 'Cause I'll do anything just to spend a little time With the cutest flight attendant I know You set my ever-lovin' heart on fire, Airline Amy Tell me I'm your favorite frequent flier, Airline Amy Found a little piece of heaven on a 747 And no one else can take me higher than Airline Amy Every one of our dates is at thirty thousand feet She always points out the exits to me, she's so sweet You know she gets me my headphones for free Refills my coffee cup whenever I ask And you gotta admit my baby looks pretty hot When she ain't wearin' that oxygen mask You set my ever-lovin' heart on fire, Airline Amy Tell me I'm your favorite frequent flier, Airline Amy Found a little piece of heaven on a 747 And no one else can take me higher than Airline Amy amy, darlin', don't you know, you really drive me nuts Every time you're handing out those honey roasted peanuts Airline Amy, this is my new mission Gotta get you in an upright locked position You set my ever-lovin' heart on fire, Airline Amy Tell me I'm your favorite frequent flier, Airline Amy Found a little piece of heaven on a 747 And no one else can take me higher than Airline Amy
The Plumbing Song (F. Farian/B. Nail/D. Warren/A. Yankovic) Baby, I sure wish I could lend you a hand But plumbing's one thing I don't understand It's true (haven't got a clue) B-b-b-baby, I can tell you've got a big problem When I flush the john, then your shower goes on (Baby) Now watcha gonna do? If Drano's a joke and your plunger is broke Baby, call the mensch with the monkey wrench (Baby) He'll be there for you Shower's backing up (up, up)? Water won't go down (down, down)? Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba baby Don't forget my plumber Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba baby Sink's been plugged up all summer Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba baby Better call the plumber He'll know what to do Pipes been blowing up Pipes been breaking down And the carpet's soaked...right through Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba kitchen's flooded, too Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba, girl, you know it's true B-b-b-betchat this guy makes more than my lawyer If he works for one day, costs you half a year's pay (Baby) He can be here by 2:00 So if you've got cash, he'll be there in a flash Makin' service calls in his overalls (Baby) He'll do his best for you Sewer's backing up (up, up)? Got you feelin' down (down, down)? Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba baby Don't forget my plumber Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba baby Leaky pipes are a bummer Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba baby Time to call the plumber Maybe call a few Gotta problem with plumbing? Gotta blame it on something Blame it on the drain that was cloggin', cloggin' Blame it on the faucet that drips all night If hairballs, grease a goo Won't let the water through Blame it on the drain, yeah, yeah When I flush the john, now when I flush the john It turns the shower on (Roto-Rooter 6-5000) Ba ba ba ba baby Baby call my plumber He'll know what to do
You Don't Love Me Anymore (Al Yankovic) We've been together for so long But now things are changing, oh I wonder what's wrong? Seems you don't want me around The passion is gone and the flame's died down I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem That time that you made it with the whole hockey team You used to think I was nice Now you tell all your friends that I'm the Antichrist Oh, why did you disconnect the brakes on my car? That kind of thing is hard to ignore Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore I knew that we were having problems when You put those piranhas in my bathtub again You're still the light of my life Oh darling, I'm beggin', won't you put down that knife? You know, I even think it's kinda cute the way You poison my coffee just a little each day I still remember the way that you laughed When you pushed me down the elevator shaft Oh, if you don't mind me asking, what's this poisonous cobra Doing in my underwear drawer? Sometimes I get to thinking you don't love me anymore You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will You set my house on fire You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers Oh, you think I'm ugly and you say I'm cheap You shaved off my eyebrows while I was asleep You drilled a hole in my head Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead Oh, you know this really isn't like you at all You never acted this way before Honey, something tells me you don't love me Anymore, oh no no Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore.

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