Yankovic!

Yankovic! : Published Lyrics : Alapalooza



"Jurassic Park" (parody of "MacArthur Park" by Richard Harris) I recall the time they found those fossilized mosquitoes And before long, they were cloning DNA Now I'm being chased by some irate velociraptors Well, believe me... this has been one lousy day Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark All the dinosaurs are running wild Someone shut the fence off in the rain I admit it's kinda eerie But this proves my chaos theory And I don't think I'll be coming back again Oh no... I cannot approve of this attraction 'Cause getting disemboweled always makes me kinda mad A huge tyrannosaurus ate our lawyer Well, I suppose that proves... they're really not all bad Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark All the dinosaurs are running wild Someone let T. Rex out of his pen I'm afraid those things'll harm me 'Cause they sure don't act like Barney And they think that I'm their dinner, not their friend Oh no... Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark All the dinosaurs are running wild What a crummy weekend this has been Well, this sure ain't no E-ticket Think I'll tell 'em where to stick it 'Cause I'm never coming back this way again Oh no... oh no
"Young, Dumb & Ugly" -------------------- by "Weird Al" Yankovic" We're dangerous dudes, we got bad attitudes Most of our brain cells are gone We were born to be bad, you better not get us mad Or we just might toilet paper your lawn We got a reputation 'round these parts We only leave a 10% tip Sometimes we don't return our shopping carts Stay out of our way and don't you give us no lip 'Cause we're young... dumb & ugly That's what we are We're so young... young, dumb & ugly We wear black leather in the hottest weather You can't imagine the smell We got three-day stubble, our name spells trouble T-R-U-B-E-L Raisin' hell, bendin' the rules just a little We're livin' only for thrills We squeeze our toothpaste tubes from the middle We wait until the last minute to pay our telephone bills 'Cause we're young... dumb & ugly You better believe it We're young... young, dumb & ugly I'll tell you again We're so young... we're so young, dumb & ugly We're comin' to your town Yeah, we're young... young, dumb & ugly We're wild, reckless men, we're on a rampage again We drive with just one hand on the wheel Danger's in our soul, we're goin' out of control Swimmin' right after a big heavy meal We're there wherever trouble's startin' We're rebels without a clue We drink milk right from the carton And keep our library books till they're way overdue 'Cause we're young... dumb & ugly That's what we are We're so young... young, dumb & ugly You can't stop us We're young... we're so young, dumb & ugly Young, dumb & ugly We're young... we're young, dumb & ugly So ugly Young, dumb... & ugly
"Bedrock Anthem" (parody of "Under the Bridge" & "Give It Away" by Red Hot Chili Peppers) Sometimes I feel Like I need a vacation Sometimes I feel Like I wanna go To the city of cavemen The city of Bedrock I'd be a Flintstone Now I'll tell you why... Well, I've got I've got a woman named Wilma Well, I've got I've got a baby named Pebbles Well, I've got I've got a doggy named Dino We do a little bowling and we drink a little vino Well, I've got a little buddy, Barney Rubble Got a neighbor by the name of Barney Rubble He's a midget but he makes a lot of trouble Doesn't like to shave, he got caveman stubble Me and Barney, Loyal Order Water Buffalo Lodge brothers, Loyal Order Water Buffalo There's handshake everybody gotta know How come Grand Poo-Bah always gotta run the whole show? Yabba dabba, yabba dabba dabba do now Yabba dabba, yabba dabba dabba do now Yabba dabba, yabba dabba dabba do now I get by on all my prehistoric know-how Betty and Barney got a baby named Bamm-Bamm Little Pebbles is his number one fan He's the strongest toddler in the whole land Tear your arm off if he shakes your hand Got a car, gonna push it with my feet now Gonna take my family out to eat now Jumbo ribs at the drive-in can't be beat now Made from brontosaurus, baby, not moo-cow Wanna chill with a sabertooth tiger Wear a loin cloth, natural fiber Be the first Rolling Stone subscriber Got a pterodactyl for a windshield wiper Yabba dabba, yabba dabba dabba do now Yabba dabba, yabba dabba dabba do now Yabba dabba, yabba dabba dabba do now Don't know what it means but I say it anyhow Lucky me, workin' down in the gravel pit Movin' rocks, on a big dinosaur I sit Mr. Slate gets mad and he throws a fit Pull the birdie's tail, everybody knows it's time to quit I realize I'm living in the Stone Age No fax, no cellular phone-Age Pick my teeth with a dinosaur bone-Age Liftin' heavy boulders every day for my wage Barney Rubble, laughin' like a hyena Barney Rubble, what a little weiner Where's Wilma? Anybody seen her? Got a baby elephant vacuum cleaner Yabba dabba, yabba dabba dabba do now Yabba dabba, yabba dabba dabba do now Yabba dabba, yabba dabba dabba do now Yabba dabba, yabba dabba dabba do now
"Frank's 2000" TV" Risin' above the city, blocking out the noonday sun It dwarfs the mighty redwoods and it towers over everyone I still remember when that delivery truck came down our block What a lucky guy, I hear he got the last one in stock And the neighbors are just green They say, "That's the biggest screen we've ever seen!" It's Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV) Everybody come and see (Frank's 2000" TV) Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV) There's Frank's remote control, you can look, but don't touch it, please 'Cause Frank's the one in charge and he decides what everybody sees The picture's crystal clear and everything is magnified Robert DeNiro's mole has gotta be ten feet wide Everybody in the town Can hear those 90,000 watts of Dolby sound And I'm mighty proud to say Now I can watch "The Simpsons" from 30 blocks away On Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV) Everybody come and see (Frank's 2000" TV) Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV) Everybody come and see (Frank's 2000" TV) I'm gonna get one of my own real soon It's like havin' a drive-in movie in your own living room Whoa, hey now... hey now na na now Hey now... hey now na na now Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV) Everybody come and see (Frank's 2000" TV) You won't believe it Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV) Everybody come and see (Frank's 2000" TV) Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV) Got a 2-year warranty on parts and labor Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV) Frank's 2000" TV
"Achy Breaky Song" (parody of "Achy Breaky Heart" by Billy Ray Cyrus) You can torture me With Donny and Marie You can play some Barry Manilow Or you can play some schlock Like New Kids On The Block Or any Village People song you know Or play Vanilla Ice Hey, you can play him twice And you can play the Bee Gees any day But Mr. DJ, please I'm beggin' on my knees I just can't take no more of Billy Ray Don't play that song That "Achy Breaky" song The most annoying song I know And if you play that song That "Achy Breaky" song I might blow up my radio, ooo... You can clear the room By playing Debbie Boone Or crank your Abba records until dawn Oh, I could even hear Slim Whitman or Zamfir Don't mind a Yoko Ono marathon Or play some Tiffany On 8-track or CD Or scrape your fingernails across the board Or tie me to a chair And kick me down the stairs Just please don't play that stupid song no more Don't play that song That "Achy Breaky" song You know I hate that song a bunch And if you play that song That nauseating song It might just make me lose my lunch, ooo... Don't play that song That "Achy Breaky" song I think it's driving me insane Oh, please don't play that song That irritating song I'd rather have a pitchfork in my brain Don't play that song That "Achy Breaky" song The most annoying song I know And if you play that song That "Achy Breaky" song I might blow up my radio, ooo-woo
"Traffic Jam" Carbon monoxide Making me choke No A.C. And the radio's broke Cars backed up Far as you can see Seems like I've been waiting here for all eternity Oh, and just in case you're wondering I'll tell you where I am I'm right here (right here) right here (right here) Stuck right here in the middle of this... Traffic jam I haven't moved one inch from this here spot Traffic jam The freeway's one big parking lot Traffic jam My radiator's boiling hot And I'm stuck right here in the middle (right here in the middle) Right here in the middle of a traffic jam Trapped inside My automobile Cobwebs growin' On the steering wheel Now, I'm no genius But one thing I know I shouldn't have had that bag of bran muffins An hour and a half ago Yeah, and if you need to find me I'll tell you where I am I'm right here (right here) right here (right here) Stuck smack dab in the middle of this... Traffic jam I haven't moved one inch from this here spot Traffic jam The freeway's one big parking lot Traffic jam Well, I thought we were movin' but I guess we're not 'Cause I'm stuck right here in the middle (right here in the middle) Right here in the middle of a traffic jam Stuck in the middle of a traffic jam Yeah yeah yeah yeah Bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper to Bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper to Bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper... Yay-hey! There's a yuppie on a cellular phone I'm gonna puke if I hear any more There's a motorcycle zoomin' by me Watch what happens when I open my door Now we're all goin' nowhere fast Well, I guess that's perfectly clear I left home five hours ago And I can still see my house from here So if anybody's tryin' to find me Well, I'll tell you where I am Right here (right here) right here (right here) Stuck right here in the middle of this... Traffic jam I haven't moved one inch from this here spot Traffic jam The freeway's one big parking lot Traffic jam Now my back teeth are floatin' and my nerves are shot And I'm stuck right here in the middle (right here in the middle) Stuck right here in the middle of a traffic jam Traffic jam.. traffic jam... traffic jam... woo!
"Talk Soup" I dated Siamese twins I slept with Bigfoot, too Get me on Sally Jesse Put me on Donahue 'Cause I wanna tell the world about it Right now My dog's a narcoleptic My mom's a circus freak I gotta get a spot on Geraldo's show this week 'Cause I wanna tell the world about it Right now I'm just an anorexic codependent bingo addict Stripper born without a chin And I'm only comfortable talking about it When the whole wide world is listening in Talk Soup... Talk Soup Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me My wife ran off with Elvis My boss shaved off my hair I've got a thing for poodles And rubber underwear And I wanna tell the world about it Right now I had a close encounter I never chew my food I got eleven nose jobs I yodel in the nude And I wanna tell the world about it Right now I'm just a cross-dressin' alcoholic neo-Nazi Porno star, as you may have guessed And I'm really gonna feel a whole lot better If you let me get this thing off my chest Talk Soup... Talk Soup Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me I'm just your average schizophrenic nymphomaniac Albino go-go dancer, you see Nothin' so bad that I can't share it With a billion friends on national TV, whoa... I have no genitalia I sold my kids for cheese I love my blow-up doll, so Bring out those cameras please 'Cause I gotta tell the world about it Right now Talk Soup... Talk Soup Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me
"Livin' in the Fridge" (parody of "Livin' on the Edge" by Aerosmith) There's somethin' weird in the fridge today I don't know what it is Food I can't recognize My roommate won't throw a thing away I guess it's probably his It looks like it's alive... And livin' in the fridge... livin' in the fridge Livin' in the fridge... livin' in the fridge There's somethin' gross in the fridge today It's green and growin' hair It's been there since July If you can name the object In that baggie over there Then mister, you're a better man than I It's livin' in the fridge You can't stop the mold from growin' Livin' in the fridge Can't tell what it is at all Livin' in the fridge You can't stop the mold from growin' Livin' in the fridge Tell me, do you think it should be carbon-dated Fumigated or cremated and buried at sea? You try to save a little bit of your home cookin' Couple weeks later, got a scary-lookin' specimen It always happens, my friend Again & again & again & again Somethin' stinks in the fridge today And it's been rottin' there all week It could be liver cake or woolly mammoth steak Well, maybe I should take another peak... Livin' in the fridge You can't stop the mold from growin' Livin' in the fridge Can't tell what it is at all Livin' in the fridge You can't stop the mold from growin' Livin' in the fridge Livin' in the fridge Don't know what it is, don't know what it is Livin' in the fridge Don't know what it is, don't know what it is Livin' in the fridge Don't know what it is at all Livin' in the fridge, yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
"She Never Told Me She Was a Mime" When we first met she seemed perfectly normal I never dreamed she'd make my life so hard You see, my baby, she started to change Started lookin' kinda strange Wearin' all that white makeup and those black leotards Well, I guess she kept her little secret pretty well Now ever since I learned the horrible truth, you know my life has been a living hell That's right, you see... She never told me she was a mime She never told me she was a mime, oh no Now she's actin' like she's trapped inside a big glass box all the time She never told me, she never told me she was a... Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-mime I wish we both could just talk it all over But my baby won't even make a sound Now she makes everybody sick Doin' that pantomime shtick Even our old friends have stopped coming around Well, my parents can't stand her and the neighbors hate her guts She's really, really embarrassing me... this silent treatment's driving me nuts You see... She never told me she was a mime She never told me she was a mime, oh no Now, she's actin' like she's trapped inside a big glass box all the time... what a crime She never told me (she never told me) she never told me she was a mime She walks against the wind everywhere we go Stops at every corner, gotta put on a show Carries 'round a picture of Marcel Marceau Always was the quiet type, but how was I to know? She never told me she was a mime She never told me she was a mime, oh no Actin' like she's trapped inside a big glass box all the ti-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yime She never told me, she never told me she was a mime
"Harvey the Wonder Hamster" Oh, Harvey, Harvey Harvey the Wonder Hamster He doesn't bite and he doesn't squeal He just runs around on his hamster wheel Harvey, Harvey Harvey the Wonder Hamster Hey, Harvey!
"Waffle King" It took a lifetime, but I finally found The perfect waffle recipe You'll never find a batter any better in this whole stinkin' town One little bite and I'm sure that you'll agree Your eyes roll back and your knees get weak Aw, you're gonna lick your plate clean People come from miles around just to study my technique I make the best darn waffles this world has ever seen I'm the Waffle King (Waffle King)... yeah Waffle King (Waffle King) That's what they call me Waffle King (Waffle King) Hey, I'm the Waffle King Everywhere I go now, the people cheer I never have to wait in line People say, "Right this way, sir... You're money's no good here" Some day I betcha they'll build me a shrine And everybody say, "Well, I'm your biggest fan!" "I seen your picture in People Magazine!" Folks come from around the world just to shake my hand If you don't believe in the power of the waffle lemme show you just what I mean I'm the Waffle King (Waffle King) Make you want to scream and shout Waffle King (Waffle King) That's my name, don't wear it out Waffle King (Waffle King) Make no mistake about it I'm the Waffle King... yeah Roll out the red carpet, 'cause here I come All you peons better scram Out of my way now, you worthless piece of scum Don't you know who I am? Hey! I wanna see you grovel, you waffle-eatin' fools Everybody, on your knees You wanna buy a waffle, you're playing by my rules Go on, beg me... lemme hear you say "pretty please" Can't you tell the universe revolves around me? Don't you know you suckers owe me everything? And can't you see that I'm the highest form of life that there could ever be? Everybody all around the world, stand up and sing Come on now... Waffle King Hey batter batter Waffle King Hot on your platter Waffle King Say, what's the matter Don't you know who I am? Don't you know who I am? Tell 'em, girls (He's the Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Waffle King) Yeah yeah (He's the Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Waffle King) Tell the truth now (He's the Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Wa Waffle King) Don't you know who I am? Don't you know who I am?
"Bohemian Polka" [Bohemian Rhapsody/Queen/1975] Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, No escape from reality. Open your eyes Look up to the skies and see I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy 'Cause I'm easy come, easy go Little high, little low Any way the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me Mama, just killed a man Put a gun against his head Pulled my trigger, now he's dead Mama, life had just begun But now I've gone and thrown it all away Mama, ooo... didn't mean to make you cry If I'm not back again this time tomorrow Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters Too late, my time has come Sends shivers down my spine Body's aching all the time Goodbye everybody - I've got to go Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth Mama, ooo I don't want to die I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all I see a little silhouetto of a man Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango Thunderbolt and lightning - very, very frightening me Galileo, Galileo Galileo, Galileo Galileo figaro - Magnifico... Hey! Hey! Hey! I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me He's just a poor boy from a poor family Spare him his life from this monstrosity Easy come, easy go, will you let me go? Bismillah! No, we will not let you go - let him go Bismillah! We will not let you go - let him go Bismillah! We will not let you go - let him go Will not let you go - Let me go Will not let you go - Let me go No, no, no, no, no no no no no! Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye So you think you can love me and leave me to die Oh, baby - can't do this to me, baby Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here Nothing really matters Anyone can see Nothing really matters Nothing really matters to me Anyway the wind, anyway the wind Anyway the wind blows - Hey!

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