Yank Blog

Hey everybody, I’ve been given the okay to announce the official website for AL FEST is ready to go! So, here it is…

AL FEST is an all day celebration, named for our favorite comedy musician, “Weird Al” Yankovic, being held at the Holiday Inn in Costa Mesa, CA, on Saturday, August 1, 2009.

Special events include a presentation by Jon “Bermuda” Schwartz, Al’s drummer since 1981, a slack-key guitar performance by Jim “Kimo” West, Al’s guitar player since 1982, and a “UHF” 20th anniversary celebrity panel featuring Victoria Jackson, Gedde Watanabe, and Jay Levey!

Please visit the website for additional activities, rumors, gossip, innuendo and news flashes.

See ya there!

Yeah, so I’m still trying to get a hang of this whole social networking thing. I guess I’m not quite checking them often enough, because I’m always finding out what all my friends were up to last week, which kind of defeats the whole purpose. But even if this news is a day or so old, it’s still pretty darn exciting, so I share it with you, loyal Yank Blog reader, hoping that I’m not the last person on the planet to find this out.

According to Al’s twitter, he went to the studio (yesterday) and started recording 4 new tracks!

Going into the studio today to start recording 4 new tracks!
7:56 AM Apr 21st from web

Could this mean we’ll be seeing a new album sooner rather than later? YAY!!! (And by that, I mean “Tweet tweet!!”)

Oxford University just released news that the word WEIRD has been misspelled in the Oxford English Dictionary for quite some time now and has been corrected to WIERD.  At a press conference, president of Oxford U says “Why didn’t anyone tell us this before?  We look like fools!  Irregardless, the oversight has been fixed now to fit the I before E rule.  Also, the word HEIGHT will now be spelled H-I-T-E and FISH will be spelled as the more obvious G-H-O-T-I to avoid confusion.”

For most people, this has not been a problem as they’ve been spelling it that way anyway.  However when “Weird Al” heard the news, he was reported to have said, “Oh son of a JIBBY!  This is going to cost me billions to correct all my past albums.  Hmm, I wonder if I can just get my twitter followers to manually fix the store copies for free.”

Phineas Q. Hoophopple badly botched the lyrics to “Like A Surgeon” yesterday, while singing along to the song on his iPod. Instead of singing “Better give me all your gauze, nurse,” he sang, “Better give me all your gosners.” It is unclear if anyone actually heard him flub the line, but we, at Yank Blog, do not condone this kind of behavior. Fortunately no one was hurt this time, but it could have been worse. Please people, think before you sing!

Later reports that Phineas thought track 7 on Dare To Be Stupid was titled “Science Teachers From Outer Space” have been proven to be false.

It’s finally time we got some fresh blood here at Yank Blog and so I’m very pleased to introduce you to our newest member, Rainn Wilson.   He’s been a Weird Al fan ever since he heard ‘White and Nerdy’ when he was 12 years old and has been to over 12,000 of Al’s concerts so far.   You might remember him from the VH1 special “Just Ink Up The Place” where he proudly showed the world his tattoo of Weird Al’s former college roommate on his right pinky toe.  Also, he just recently lent his voice to the character of Gallaxhar in the awesome movie “Monsters vs. Aliens” which as I’m sure you all know was an obvious reference to Weird Al’s character as the Cabbage alien in Steven Spielberg’s “Amazing Stories”.

In addition, he plays as the hilarious character of Dwight Schrute in “The Office”.  Not only in the American version, but the UK , French , German, Russian, Lithuanian, and Pig Latin version as well.   Rainn says he plans on posting to Yank Blog while on the computer during taping.   For those with ultra high defintion televisions, look at his monitor whenever he’s supposedly selling paper.  You’ll see the Yank Blog corporate logo in the upper left corner.   Thanks for joining our team, Rainn!  Everyone please give a warm welcome to him.

Yank Blog has inked a three year deal with CBS Broadcasting Inc. for the exclusive rights to the Cyber Lucy character.

Al fans might remember Cyber Lucy from the short lived children’s version of Wheel of Fortune, called Wheel 2000, which aired before The Weird Al Show in 1997. Since then, Cyber Lucy has been steadily looking for work on television, but by a stroke of luck, she attended the Fifth Annual International Convention Of Collaborative Bloggers, held in Rio de Janeiro last month, where we struck up a conversation, and discovered her love for the blogoshere. We immediately invited her to join our team, and are thrilled to have Cyber Lucy as our first real time animated blogger (excluding that time Glomer hacked into our server, and rambled on and on about his fanatical devotion to his “Punky friend.”) We look forward to working with Cyber Lucy and welcome her to the team!!

We are proud to announce the greatest board game ever to have been invented since the dawn of time…  Yank Blog the Board Game!  Catchy title, eh?  It is currently available at our mega store in Times Square and at dollar stores everywhere for 5 for a buck.   Players will get the chance to pretend as if they were also Yank Blog contributors.  They’ll spend hours scouring the net for anything Al related, and then copy-and-paste their findings into the web page form.    Also, they’ll battle against flame wars and dragons.   Available in travel edition and as an iPhone app, too.  Pick up a hundred or so today!  Sorry, no refunds.

At long last, my vision is coming true.  We just inked a deal to get some airtime during the Superbowl next month to advertise Yank Blog to literally trillions of viewers.   That’s right, 1000x more than the population of the entire world.  I’m going to count plants, pets, and microscopic organisms too.  We’re looking for people who can:

• Play the accordion while on fire
• Separate egg whites from their yolks using only their belly button
• Successfully prove that P=NP
• Go back in time
• Make me a sandwich

Auditions will be held at Bob’s house in exactly one year ago today, April 1, 2008  3:30am.    Please bring your own eggs.

Unfortunately, times have been tough and the cost of running this billion dollar company is just ten bucks past my budget.  So EVERYTHING MUST GO!  Starting now, every Yank Blog post is on sale for the low low price of one dollar per word.  Titles!  Bylines!  Yes, even Comments!  All of this can be shipped to your home in 4-6 weeks after credit approval.  And if you call within the next seventy two years, you’ll also get ALL the words that the profanity filter collected since day one for FREE!  That’s right!  You’ll get words like KRUNK and JIBBY and MUCKO included with your purchase.  What the FLIRM are you waiting for?!?  Operators are standing by!

Let’s see… what to post…  How about Yank Blog being sold to PygmyFarmersDressedAsSalsaCoveredPorcupines.com? Nah, too cliché.  How about breaking news that Prince finally allows Al to parody a song… one by Dolly Parton?  Hmm, that one might actually happen.  Ooh, how about Rob Zombie renaming Halloween 2 to “UHF 2: Ultimate Horror Flick”?  I’ll put that in the Maybe pile.  Oh, I can’t decide… please suggest a really great prank for next year so I don’t have to think of one.  Thanks!