Smells Like Nirvana
"Weird Al" Yankovic
Off the Deep End 1992
parody of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana
(Kurt Cobain/Nirvana/Al Yankovic)
What is this song all about?
Can't figure any lyrics out
How do the words to it go?
I wish you'd tell me, I don't know
Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no
Don't know, don't know, don't know
Now I'm mumblin' and I'm screamin'
And I don't know what I'm singin'
Crank the volume, ears are bleedin'
I still don't know what I'm singin'
We're so loud and incoherent
Boy this oughtta bug your parents
Yeah
It's unintelligible
I just can't get it through my skull
It's hard to bargle nawdle zouss
With all these marbles in my mouth
Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no
Don't know, don't know, don't know...
Well we don't sound like Madonna
Here we are now, we're Nirvana
Sing distinctly? We don't wanna
Buy our album, we're Nirvana
A garage band from Seattle
Well, it sure beats raising cattle
Yeah!
And I forgot the next verse
Oh well, I guess it pays to rehearse
The lyric sheet's so hard to find
What are the words? Oh, nevermind
Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no
Don't know, don't know don't know...
Well, I'm yellin' and we're playin'
But I don't know what I'm sayin'
What's the message I'm conveyin'?
Can you tell me what I'm sayin'?
So have you got some idea?
Didn't think so-Well, I'll see ya
Sayonara, sayonara
Ayonawa, adinawa
Odinaya, yodinaya
Yaddayadda, yaaahyaaah
Ayaaaaah!
"Trigger Happy"
---------------
by "Weird Al" Yankovic
Got an AK-47, well you know it makes me feel all right.
Gat an Uzi by my pillow, helps me sleep a little better at night.
There's no feeling any greater
Than to shoot first and ask questions later.
Now I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day.
Well, you can't take my guns away, I got a constitutional right.
Yeah, I gotta be ready if the Commies attack us tonight.
I'll blow their brains out with my Smith and Wesson,
That oughta teach 'em all a darn good lesson.
Now I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day.
(Oh yeah, I'm) trigger, trigger happy.
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy.
(Oh, baby I'm) trigger, trigger happy.
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy.
(Oh, I'm so) trigger, trigger happy.
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy.
Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away.
Oh, I accidentally shot Daddy last night in the den.
I mistook him in the dark for a drug-crazed Nazi again.
Now why'd you have to get so mad?
It was just a lousy flesh wound, Dad.
You know, I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day.
Oh, I still haven't figured out the safety on my rifle yet.
Little Fluffy took a round, better take him to the vet.
I filled that kitty cat so full of lead,
We'll have to use him for a pencil instead.
Well, I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day.
(Oh yeah, I'm) trigger, trigger happy.
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy.
(Oh baby, I'm) trigger, trigger happy.
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy.
(Oh, I'm so) trigger, trigger happy.
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy.
Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away.
Come on and grab your ammo.
What have you got to lose?
We'll get all liquored up
And shoot at anything that moves.
Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight.
Oh, I'm prayin' somebody tries to break in here tonight.
I always keep a Magnum in my trunk.
You better ask yourself, do you feel lucky, punk?
Because I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day.
(Oh yeah, I'm) trigger, trigger happy.
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy.
(Oh baby, I'm) trigger, trigger happy.
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy.
(Oh, I'm so) trigger, trigger happy.
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy.
Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away.
"I Can't Watch This"
"Weird Al" Yankovic
Off the Deep End 1992
parody of "U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer
(James/Miller/Hammer/Al Yankovic)
I can't watch this. I can't watch this.
I can't watch this. I can't watch this.
My my my my TV makes me so bored,
Makes me say, oh my lord.
What is this garbage here?
Wanna cover my eyes and plug my ears.
It sucks, and that's no lie.
It's about as much fun as watching paint dry.
Lowers my IQ one notch,
And that's the reason why, uh, I can't watch.
I told you homeboy... I can't watch this.
Yeah, nothin' but trash and you know... I can't watch this.
Poke out my eyes, man... I can't watch this.
Yo, gimme that remote control... I can't watch this.
Talkin' 'bout sick shows,
There's America's Funniest Home Videos.
I can't believe my eyes
When I see the kind of stuff that wins first prize.
Somebody's poor old mom
Falls down off the roof, lands right on the lawn
Face first on a rake.
I hear they got it on the seventeenth take.
That's funny as a kick in the crotch.
And that kinda show, uh, I can't watch.
Yo, I told you... I can't watch this.
Change the channel now, man... I can't watch this.
Yo, pass the TV Guide here, sucker... I can't watch this.
Cosby Show and Roseanne,
Think I've taken 'bout as much as I can.
Judge Wopner, oh my,
You gotta be Rainman to like this guy.
Thirtysomething is all right,
If you like hearing yuppies whining all night.
Can't stand Twin Peaks.
Wish they'd lynch those donut-eatin' freaks.
Those Siskel & Ebert bums
Oughta go home and just sit on their thumbs.
That's word because you know... I can't watch this.
I can't watch this.
Break it down!
Here's-how-to-order-money-back-guarantee-
removes-tough-stains-fast-
it-tastes-more-like-fresh-peanuts-
they-keep-going-and-going-
don't-hate-me-because-I'm-beautiful-
could-be-dandruff-
our-prices-are-insaaaane!!!
Stop! Prime time!
I'm pretty sure I'll be sick
If I have to watch another stupid pet trick.
Or that guy with the real flat hair
That goes "woof woof woof" and waves his fist in the air.
Or those weird talk shows
About transsexual Nazi Eskimos.
They're rude, crude, and vile.
Just for a minute let's flip down the dial.
Flip, flip, flip... yeccch, I can't watch this.
Look, man... I can't watch this.
I can't take this torture no more, I can't... I can't watch this.
Pay the bills, station break.
Break it down!
Operators-are-standing-by-
cubic-zirconium-necklace-
you're-soaking-in-it-
and-our-fabulous-swimsuit-issue-
when-you've-got-a-headache-this-big-
read-the-book-
this-is-your-brain-on-drugs-
I've-fallen-and-I-can't-get-up!!!
Stop! Cable time!
HBO and Playboy, Showtime and MTV,
I might like 'em more after my lobotomy.
Now why did I ever pay for this junk?
I hooked up eighty channels, and each one stunk.
Just brainless blood and guts, and mindless T & A.
It's awful, it's putrid, it's crummy, it's stupid, gonna throw my set away.
I can't watch this. I can't watch this.
I can't watch this. Yeah... I can't watch this.
I told you... can't watch this.
Too hip, can't watch this.
Get me outta here... can't watch this.
Polka Your Eyes Out
[Cradle of Love/Billy Idol]
Rock the cradle of love Rock the cradle of love
Yes, the cradle of love
Don't rock easy, it's true
Rock the cradle of love
I rocked the cradle of love
Yes, the cradle of love
Don't rock easy, it's true
[Tom's Diner/Susan Vega]
Doo doo doo doo doo doodooo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doodoo doo
(doo doo doo doo doo doodooo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doodoo doo)
[Love Shack/B-52s]
The Love Shack is a little old place where
We can get together
Love Shack, baby
(Love Shack, baby, Love Shack)
Hey!
[Pump Up The Jam/Technotronic]
Pump up the jam (hey!) Pump up the jam (hey!)
Pump up the jam, pump it up!
[Losing My Religion/R.E.M.]
That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religions
Trying to keep a view
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no, I've said too much
I haven't said enough
[Unbelievable/EMF]
The things you say
Your purple prose just gives you away
The things you say
You're unbelievable
(Oh!)
[Do Me!/Bel Biv Devoe]
Do me, baby, do me, baby
You can do me in the morning, you can
Do me in the night
You can do me when you wanna do me
Yodalodaladyhoo!
[Enter Sandman/Metallica]
Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
Off to never never land
[The Humpty Dance/Digital Underground]
The Humpty Dance your chance to do the Hump
Do me, baby
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Do me, baby
Do the Humpty, Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
[Cherry Pie/Warrant]
She's my cherry pie
Put a smile on your face ten miles wide
Look so good, make a grown man cry
Sweet cherry pie-yi-yi
Woo!
Drum solo!
[Miss You Much/Janet Jackson]
I miss you much (M-O-I miss you much)
I really miss you much (M-I-S-S you much)
I miss you much (M-O-I miss you much)
I really miss you much
[I Touch Myself/DiVinyls]
Hey, I don't want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself
Oh, I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no
[Dr. Feelgood/Motley Crue]
He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He's the one that makes you feel all right
He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood
He's gonna be your Frankenstein
[Ice Ice Baby/Vanilla Ice]
Let's kick it!
If you gotta problem, (yo!) I'll solve it
Check out the beat while the DJ revolves it
Ice ice baby
Ice ice baby...Word to your mother!
Ice ice baby
Ice ice baby, forever
I'll be your ice...ice...baby!
Hey!
I Was Only Kidding
------------------
by "Weird Al" Yankovic
When I said I'd be faithful
When I promised I'd be true
When I swore that I could never
Be with anyone but you
When I told you that I loved you
With those tender words I spoke
I was only kidding
Now, can't you take a joke?
When I said that I need you, baby
When I told you I really care
When I said that I can't live without you
When I said I'd follow you anywhere
When I said you could always trust me
When I said I'd never leave you flat
Well, guess what? I was only kidding, baby
I can't believe you fell for that!
You're so gullible...
CHORUS
(I was only kidding) I was only kidding
(I was only kidding) I was only kidding
I was only kidding
Now I'm sorry if you misunderstood, but the fact remains
(I was only kidding) I was only kidding
(I was only kidding) I was only kidding
Well I guess I got you pretty good, now listen
When I said that I love you baby
From the very bottom of my heart
When I said that I miss you so badly
Every second that we're apart
When I said that you're just getting more and more
Beautiful every day
Well, I was only kidding, honey
What's that matter with you anyway?
Let me tell you something
(CHORUS)
Well I guess it probably hurts you a lot,
But you gotta know
I really love you...NOT!
When I said you oughtta marry me
When I said that we should settle down
Well, I was pullin' your leg there, honey
I was just foolin' around
You see, I-I never meant to upset you, darlin'
I never meant to hurt anyone
I was only kidding, baby
Why don't you just put down that gun?
Let's talk this over
(CHORUS)
Watch where you're pointing that thing!
Hey, I'm sorry if your heart is broke
You gotta realize
(CHORUS)
"The White Stuff"
"Weird Al" Yankovic
Off the Deep End 1992
parody of "You Got It (The Right Stuff)" by New Kids on the Block
(M. Starr/Al Yankovic)
The White Stuff. The white stuff.
The first one was a sweet one.
Second one was a blast.
Soon I finished off the bag, ate 'em up real fast.
You can see 'em in my teeth,
Tell it when I talk,
Had so many my pancreas just went into shock.
I love the white stuff, baby,
In the middle of an Oreo.
I love the white stuff, baby.
It's the most delicious thing I know.
I've had a zillion or two,
In my life, they're so right.
My teeth are all rotted clear through.
But who cares? What else am I supposed to do?
Oh oh oh-oh-oh, oh Oreo.
Oh oh oh-oh-oh, the white stuff.
Oh oh oh-oh-oh, oh Oreo.
What's in the middle? The white stuff.
The first time that I tried it
Got a big sugar buzz.
Nothing gets me high as that sandwich cookie does.
But I love the filling most,
I rub it on my roast,
Mix it in with my coffee and spread it on my toast.
I love the white stuff, baby,
In the middle of an Oreo.
I love the white stuff, baby.
Take some with me everywhere I go.
Might get a pimple or two.
Well, so what? It's all right.
Now, Twinkies and Ding Dongs won't do.
All I need... You know what it is.
Oh oh oh-oh-oh, oh Oreo.
Oh oh oh-oh-oh, the white stuff.
Oh oh oh-oh-oh, oh Oreo.
Oh oh oh-oh-oh, the white stuff.
Oh oh oh-oh-oh, oh Oreo.
What's in the middle? The white stuff.
When I Was Your Age
-------------------
(by "Weird Al" Yankovic)
Let me tell you, sonny...let me set you straight
You kids today ain't never had it rough
Always had everything handed to you on a silver plate
You lazy brats think nothing's good enough
Well, nobody ever drove me to school when it was 90 degrees below
We had to walk butt naked through 40 miles of snow
Worked in the coal mine 22 hours a day for just half a cent
Had to sell my internal organs just to pay the rent
When I was your age. When I was your age
When I was your age. When I was your age
Let me tell you something, you whiny little snot
There's something wrong with all you kids today
You just don't appreciate all the things you've got
We were hungry, broke and miserable and we liked it
Fine that way
There were seventy three of us living in a cardboard box
All I got for Christmas was a lousy bag of rocks
Every night for dinner we had a big chunk of dirt
If we were really good we didn't get dessert
When I was your age. When I was your age
When I was your age. When I was your age
Didn't have no telephone didn't have no FAX machine
All we had was a couple of cans and a crummy piece of string
Didn't have no swimming pool when I was just a lad
Our neighbor's septic tank was the closest thing we had
Didn't have no dental floss had to use old rusty nails
Didn't have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails
Didn't have no water bed, had to sleep on broken glass
Didn't have no lawn mower, we used our teeth to cut the grass
What's the matter now, sonny, you say you don't
Believe this junk?
You think my story's wearin' kinda thin?
I tell you one thing, I never was such a disrespectful punk
Back in my time, we had a thing called discipline
Dad would whoop us every night till a quarter after twelve
Then he'd get too tired and he'd make us whoop ourselves
Then he'd chop me into pieces and play Frisbee with my brain
And let me tell ya, Junior, you never heard me complain
When I was your age. When I was your age
When I was your age. When I was your age
Taco Grande
(G. Mejia/C. C. Warren/Al Yankovic)
Taco...grande Taco...grande
Yo quero chimichangas y chile colorado
Yo tengo el dinero para un steak picado
Las flautas y tamale, siempre muy bueno
Y el chile relleno
You see, I just gotta have a tostada, carne asada
That's right, I want the whole enchilada
My only addiction has to do with flour tortilla
I need a quesadilla
I love to stuff my face with tacos al carbon
With my friends or when I'm all alone
Yo tengo mucho hambre y ahora lo quiero
Un burrito ranchero
So give me something spicy and hot now
Break out the menu, what you go, now?
Oh, would you tell the waiter I'd like to have
Sour cream on the side
You better make sure the beans are refried
Taco...grande Taco...grande
Well there's not a taco big enough for a man like me
That's why I order two or three
Let me give you a tip, just try a nacho chip
It's really good with bean dip
I eat uno, dos, tres, quatro burritos
Pretty soon I can't fit in my Speedos
Well, I hope they feed us lots of chicken fajitas
And a pitcher of margaritas
Well the combination plates al come with beans and rice
The taquitos here are very nice
Now I'm down on my knees, we need some extra
Tomatoes and cheese
And could you make that separate checks, please?
Taco...grande Taco...grande
Well the food is coming I can hardly wait
Now watch your fingers, careful hot plate!
What you think you're doing with my chili con queso?
Well, if you want some, just say so
Oh boy, pico de gallo
They sure don't make it like this in Ohio
No gracias, yo quiero jalapenos, nada mas
You can toss away the hot sauce
Donde estan los nachos? Holy frijole!
You better get me a bowl of guacamole
Y usted, Eugene? Wh's your face turning green?
Don't you like pinto beans?
You want some more cinnamon crispas?
If you don't, hasta la vista
Just take the rest home in a doggie bag if you wanna
You can finish it manana
Well, it's been a pleasure, I can't eat no more
Senor, la cuenta, por favor
If you ain't ever tried real Mexican cooking, well, you
Oughtta
Just don't drink the water
Taco...grande
Taco...grande
Taco...grande
Taco...grande
Airline Amy
(Al Yankovic)
Met this pretty young stewardess on a non-stop flight
She showed me to my seat and it was love at first sight
Now lately I've been flying to all kinds of places
That I never really wanted to go
'Cause I'll do anything just to spend a little time
With the cutest flight attendant I know
You set my ever-lovin' heart on fire, Airline Amy
Tell me I'm your favorite frequent flier, Airline Amy
Found a little piece of heaven on a 747
And no one else can take me higher than Airline Amy
Every one of our dates is at thirty thousand feet
She always points out the exits to me, she's so sweet
You know she gets me my headphones for free
Refills my coffee cup whenever I ask
And you gotta admit my baby looks pretty hot
When she ain't wearin' that oxygen mask
You set my ever-lovin' heart on fire, Airline Amy
Tell me I'm your favorite frequent flier, Airline Amy
Found a little piece of heaven on a 747
And no one else can take me higher than Airline Amy
amy, darlin', don't you know, you really drive me nuts
Every time you're handing out those honey roasted peanuts
Airline Amy, this is my new mission
Gotta get you in an upright locked position
You set my ever-lovin' heart on fire, Airline Amy
Tell me I'm your favorite frequent flier, Airline Amy
Found a little piece of heaven on a 747
And no one else can take me higher than Airline Amy
The Plumbing Song
(F. Farian/B. Nail/D. Warren/A. Yankovic)
Baby, I sure wish I could lend you a hand
But plumbing's one thing I don't understand
It's true (haven't got a clue)
B-b-b-baby, I can tell you've got a big problem
When I flush the john, then your shower goes on
(Baby) Now watcha gonna do?
If Drano's a joke and your plunger is broke
Baby, call the mensch with the monkey wrench
(Baby) He'll be there for you
Shower's backing up (up, up)?
Water won't go down (down, down)?
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba baby
Don't forget my plumber
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba baby
Sink's been plugged up all summer
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba baby
Better call the plumber
He'll know what to do
Pipes been blowing up
Pipes been breaking down
And the carpet's soaked...right through
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba ba ba kitchen's flooded, too
Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba ba ba, girl, you know it's true
B-b-b-betchat this guy makes more than my lawyer
If he works for one day, costs you half a year's pay
(Baby) He can be here by 2:00
So if you've got cash, he'll be there in a flash
Makin' service calls in his overalls
(Baby) He'll do his best for you
Sewer's backing up (up, up)?
Got you feelin' down (down, down)?
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba baby
Don't forget my plumber
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba baby
Leaky pipes are a bummer
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba baby
Time to call the plumber
Maybe call a few
Gotta problem with plumbing?
Gotta blame it on something
Blame it on the drain that was cloggin', cloggin'
Blame it on the faucet that drips all night
If hairballs, grease a goo
Won't let the water through
Blame it on the drain, yeah, yeah
When I flush the john, now when I flush the john
It turns the shower on
(Roto-Rooter 6-5000)
Ba ba ba ba baby
Baby call my plumber
He'll know what to do
You Don't Love Me Anymore
(Al Yankovic)
We've been together for so long
But now things are changing, oh I wonder what's wrong?
Seems you don't want me around
The passion is gone and the flame's died down
I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem
That time that you made it with the whole hockey team
You used to think I was nice
Now you tell all your friends that I'm the Antichrist
Oh, why did you disconnect the brakes on my car?
That kind of thing is hard to ignore
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore
I knew that we were having problems when
You put those piranhas in my bathtub again
You're still the light of my life
Oh darling, I'm beggin', won't you put down that knife?
You know, I even think it's kinda cute the way
You poison my coffee just a little each day
I still remember the way that you laughed
When you pushed me down the elevator shaft
Oh, if you don't mind me asking, what's this poisonous cobra
Doing in my underwear drawer?
Sometimes I get to thinking you don't love me anymore
You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill
Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will
You set my house on fire
You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers
Oh, you think I'm ugly and you say I'm cheap
You shaved off my eyebrows while I was asleep
You drilled a hole in my head
Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead
Oh, you know this really isn't like you at all
You never acted this way before
Honey, something tells me you don't love me
Anymore, oh no no
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore.
